Spill the Wine [Eric Burdon and War]

when i was unemployed, i had a lot of time on my hands. early in the game, this happened, and i think we should relive it, cause it's awesome, and also it gives me another post for this month (for those of you keeping track)

so unemployment frees up a lot of your time. it also frees up a lot of your incoming monies. being aware of this, when a former colleague called me up and asked if i was interested in a "business opportunity", i said yes.

the problem is, i said yes before i knew what the proposal actually was. silly me, i figured it would be something along the lines of my chosen career. it was not. having already said i was interested, i heard him out. our phone conversation was about 2 minutes long, and i left it with an agreement to attend a meeting regarding a "sales position" for a "new" energy/fruit drink. At this point i was extremely skeptical, but since this guy was still in the biz, i thought it best not to burn that bridge just yet - besides, it wasnt like i was strapped for time.

so i go to this meeting, which is in some room at a banquet hall. we walk in, and there are a ton of chairs, and a stage which has a white board on it, as well as a few small tables featuring what look like wine bottles. I ask the guy where the energy drink is, and his response should have sent me packing right away - he tells me "well, it's not really an energy drink, but it's this natural fruit juice that will make you feel better, and give you more energy in the long run . . ." but i didnt leave, which is good for the story. this meeting was actually a very well organized sales pitch for a juice called Monavie. And, more info here. The whole thing was amazing. they way they had these chumps going, i wanted the meeting to go on forever, just to give me more to tell later. . . .

They try very hard to get you amped up. they try very hard to lure you in with promises of money. they try very hard to convince you that it's not a pyramid scheme. the sad thing is, i think they've really duped a lot of people. they kept referring to it as a system. that led me to the tagline:

It's not a scheme, it's a SYSTEM!

in reality, it is a form of a pyramid scheme. they have fancy names for it, like "business system" and Multi-Level Marketing plan, but it's really just a hoax. their whole angle is that you're not selling the juice to people, you're selling them on the system. because of all the super-powers of this juice, it really just sells itself. anyone who gets introduced to this stuff should want to drink it, and share it, with everyone they know. then all those people will drink it and share it, and then the people they've shared it with will drink and share it. . . Sound familiar? yep, it's that classic pyramid scheme logic. So you're not selling this juice, which is good, because it costs at least $40 a bottle (depending on which variety you go for). and one bottle will get one person through one week. So you're dropping $160-$200 a month to drink this stuff. Oh, right. in order to make money with the system, you have to drink it, too. Cause why would you promote something you didnt use, right? The greatest thing is is that it is essentially a wine bottle full of multi-berry concentrate. it tastes like sour sludge, leaves a gritty film in anything your pour it into, and you're only supposed to drink 2oz. in the morning and 2oz. at night. Because it's so good for you, so powerful, that any more would be a waste. Also, the high percentage of prune juice might have something to do with that, too. you can't sell it if you can't stop going to the bathroom long enough to make sales calls.

Like any good pyramid scheme, this one focuses on getting you educated so you can get out there and sell, sell, sell. they have "audios" for you to learn from, as well as "texts" What they really mean is that you'll pay a fee to receive CDs and 80pg books that reinforce the brainwashing. They encourage you to attend "tuesdays" and the monthly "Saturday Seminar" These are meetings where they reinforce the brainwashing. Tuesday is their clever name for the weekly session (it normally happens on tuesday, get it) Tuesdays cost the members $5 a pop. Saturday Seminars cost $30. so you sign up for this BS, and off the bat you're shelling out at least $50 a month to attend meetings. And, you dont get the audios and texts for free. no sir. you're paying $16 or $24 every 2 weeks to get these things mailed to you. the difference in price levels is your level of devotion. they don't label them as such in the meeting, but as the guy said while point to the dry-erase board - you're either dedicated ($16) or you're devoted ($24). I like how they list the price as bi-monthly - like you won't add it up and realize you're dropping another $30 or $50 to reinforce the brainwashing.

so right now, we're looking at $80 or $100 a month from the business end. add to that the $200 or so a month in juice, and you've got a nasty habit going. And i didnt even mention the $100 fee that gains you access to the EBC - the electronic business center. This gets you a website of your very own that you can send people to so they can learn about the juice, and the system. it gets you a subscription to some magazine nobody's heard of, specifically dedicated to "enhancing your navigation through the system" it gets you access to a special blog by the founders of this "system" and it gets you access to a special message board to share success stories with others in the "system"

After the meeting, i was encourage to take home the starter pack of audio and text and give it a thorough review. if i was free, i could attend an "introduction" on wednesday, a house call on thursday, and i "really should get to the seminar on saturday. how many tickets do you want?" I told them i was going out of town, and of course, the place i was going to had a meeting i could join there. If i couldnt do wednesday or thursday, my old co-worker would "be in touch" early the next week to get me going on the next step. At one point, i though they were going to "next step" me right there in the parking lot. These guys were intense.

When i came home and told KTO about it, i invented a good summary phrase. this group has the 3 essential P's that any pyramid scheme needs:

they've got a
Product

they've got
Propaganda

and they've got
Pressure

if you can avoid getting suckered in, i would suggest you go to a first meeting if you ever have the chance - it is one evening you'll never forget.