the new quarter starts next week, and this week has been spent prepping syllabi and sitting through training and all sorts of other work things. of my 4 classes, the two with the largest work load are also the two with the largest number of students registered. awesome.
as i prep for this new quarter, it only reinforces the notion that i'm not really wild about doing this. my sister called the other day (while i was at work) and since she wouldnt take the hint that i couldnt talk, i was left trying to explain my frustration in grunts and single work answers, so nobody could hear me. my mom called the other day at 11.30pm and wanted talk about how i was doing, how i felt, etc - we dont have that type of relationship, and i have to work in the morning, and i dont even want to discuss this we people i do share with, so leave me alone about it.
i'm not saying that i dont have feelings about it (cause clearly i do) but i try not to dwell as much as i can, because it doesnt make anything easier, and can actually ruin an otherwise decent afternoon, night or evening. and for some reason, any time i give the crap side of this adventure too much thought, i get really tired, and then i take a nap and it throws off my whole schedule. next thing you know, i'm still up at 3am and then i barely make it to school in time for my 1pm class.
this quarter i will have some heavy loads, but i also only have one day with back to back classes, so i wont be super exhausted by the end of the week. which is good, cause i will have a ton of grading to do for those two big classes, and grading is much harder to do when you just want to collapse and die.
this week (but officially today) marks the return of the "no fast food" rule. i also went ahead and threw in no chocolate candy and no ice cream. so for the first few weeks of April I'm gonna be a bear. i want to work in some actual exercise, but 1.)lets get real, and b.) i can only change so much at a time. of course, making all these changes is for the best, but they are more difficult when I'm dealing with no news/bad news situations on potential jobs. we'll just call that my extra challenge.
when we started this adventure we said we'd give it 6 months and then reassess. well, that's about now, and we're going to have to reassess. at first i thought 6 months would be a breeze, and about 2 months in i thought i would never make it, then after christmas (3 months) i thought i could push through, and now here we are. i dont relish the though of any more months - 1, 3 or 6 - but right now i have to steel myself for at least 3 more. when we started this adventure, i never really gave any thought to being here past the 6 month mark, and now that i will be, i realize that i'll be here for our 3 year anniversary. i'll be here for kto's birthday, and i'll be here for my birthday. not to mention mother's day and father's day, and the in-law's anniversary as well. so this quarter may very well break me - all those missed holidays and events, plus the largest senior class enrollment that they've ever had, all for me to deal with. awesome.
i promise to try to update regularly, and with things that are more positive, or at least humorous to read - though i do warn you I'll have some complaints. i'm also going to introduce a new segment where i talk about other jobs i've held, and the funny/horrible things that happened during them. thanks for reading (all 5 of you) and stay tuned, it'll get better.
4 comments:
hang in there buddy. i know that it's been tough on your brain and your relationship and just life in general. life just never seem simple does it? mark and i talk about that often. nothing ever goes the way it should. but i guess that is life.
i've got my fingers crossed for good things to come J. could be something you've never even thought of!?
but in the mean time... good luck w/ no fast food. it feels really, really good so keep with it!!! and don't over do it. not sure i could go without candy for too long. actually, i KNOW that i cant... i've tried!
take care friend!
thanks V. i've got everything crossed that i can possibly cross - i know something will come up eventually, it's just a tricky thing for me since i cant not give 100% to whatever i'm doing at the moment - teaching, target, whatever - it just ends up wearing me out.
i felt good about not doing the fast food back in august, but fell off when i moved here, so i'm excited to get back to it. i worked in that loophole with candy cause i said "no choclate candy" so skittles and such are still in the running. i think the icecream one might be over doing it, but we'll see.
howdy partner. i often read, just never get around to commenting. i think of you often and hope some of my good thoughts make it your way. have you seen the movie requiem for a dream? (pretty freaky) - sometimes bits just pop in my mind. this music is one of my ringtones - john's actually (for no other reason other than i like it). would love to get together next time your in town (if you have time). figured you weren't a mind reader and that i should let you know that i am reading and that i will respond more than i currently do (never). peace out.
laura k hefele
i know we'll miss some stuff- but as you know, me and mine are not that big on the whole- exact timing thing. we like to extend any celebration for as long as we can, and this gives us a good reason to celebrate more! It'll be okay- we'll get through- we always do. love you.
Post a Comment